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    CLS: Ordinary

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    Ikolovespucks

    Posts : 17
    Join date : 2012-08-26
    Age : 27

    CLS: Ordinary

    Post  Ikolovespucks on Tue Aug 28, 2012 7:48 pm

    I think this was once an entry for a contest. Nonetheless, here it is!

    I used wonder if only ordinary guys are allowed to have ordinary days. Of course, the answer is yes, but I can dream, right? Niko likes to think I am an ordinary guy, but please. Normal people do not have to deal with this.

    My boss should never flirt shamelessly with a puck that had a crush on my brother and the inability to get into his pants. Seeing feathers all over him is one thing, watching them practically make little Peri with words, entirely different.

    I opened a beer because, hey, I needed one. Ishiah wasn't big on me taking unscheduled breaks, but I felt like I had this one for free. Considering what they were talking about...

    “It was a lovely dream-” Robin was telling him, and I could tell this would be detailed.

    “Perhaps in your fantasy you and I were on a white horse galloping into the sunset.” Ishiah said in a deadpan voice.

    I snorted into my drink. Robin payed no attention to my humor at him taking a hero's ending out of The Princess Bride. He was still dressed in his suit and I was guessing he came straight from the dealership. Probably too horny to go home for a while first, the bastard.

    “More like something with a motorcycle. And you were in my bitch seat.” The puck replied quickly.

    The second snort was the distant relative of a laugh. Ishiah reached one hand down behind the bar and pulled out an axe he had almost swung into my head a few weeks ago. He set it without comment onto the table and I shut up quick. Hey, not worth loosing my head over, right? Besides, the Alice in me had died a long time ago. I'd killed him with a sword. Trust me, no axe necessary. But the looking glass part was true.

    “At least give me a nice car. You have plenty.”

    “I'll give you the front of the motorcycle. Or do you think you wouldn't look good in black leather?”

    I was actually happy for the limitations of my mind, no matter what Niko said. The fact that my brain had an inability to wrap around that image was good news.

    “I look good in anything. Or nothing. Take your pick.” Robin continued as I half-heartedly “cleaned” a glass.

    “Well, if I have to put you on an animal, I'll take nothing. More exotic.” Ishiah replied.

    I began to inch slowly away from the party. Is it just me, or is it getting frisky in here? I wasn't the only one. A was eyeing them from a few feet away with one large and not particularly intelligent eye on the side of his reptilian face. He looked mostly human, but scales were hard to miss in daylight, which made him a nighttime kind of guy. Or girl. It was honestly hard to tell. He or she had been waiting a while for a drink, I could tell, but Ishiah looked busy and I wasn't about to try and shove past him to get to a customer.

    “In that case I'll take nothing on you as well. And you don't need to ride anything but me.”

    I nearly chocked. On what, I had no idea. Quite a feat, right? I wasn't eating or drinking, but I was definitely choking.

    The Troglodyte had had enough as well. “Why don't both of wear rags and ride a moose in the desert? No one cares for your sex talk. Now get me another drink!” Yeah, a male.

    There wasn't even a pause, poor bastard. Robin's face had turned murderous at the mention of him putting on rags for any reason, but I think it was the way he ordered that had a bar glass grinding down his throat and his stool tipped over as he choked on glass. I remembered that move from before. It was executed better when Robin wasn't drunk. Ishiah never attacked customers, but Robin always had more than enough fight in him to take down a few if the Peris was too proud.

    But he did it for Ishiah. How sweet. Nothing like a little glass down the throat to show him you care. That should be on a greeting card.

    Anyway, I had no sympathy for the guy. Alright, maybe a little. I mean, come on. That certainly wasn't pleasant. But he shouldn't have been so bossy and he hadn't been tipping well any of the times he had come here. I assumed. Hell, he probably deserved it.

    Ishiah looked over at me as I stared at the writhing creature on the floor. I shrugged. Better his head than mine, Your Majesty. Curtsy, bow. Whatever I need to do. Shit, this guy was scary if you pissed him off.

    At least this changed the conversation. The next part went less like “I want you in bed” and more like “I wish for three seconds you and all the people you bring into this bar would stop killing my customers and breaking my property.”

    And that was about the time she walked in. Alright, so I was definitely digging the human look before I even got close. But she couldn't be. The only people who lived to tell the tale of walking in and out of Ishiah's bar were my brother, and a heartless Rom that would have skinned anything that attacked her. Hell, my brother could do that. He just wouldn't do it for the fun of it. Good little ninjas don't attack without proper reasons.

    She was beautiful until she got closer. Not because she looked bad up front and personal. She just smelled different. Ishiah had caught me staring and crossed behind me quickly as Robin looked at the girl with interest. I felt I was missing something even before Ishiah sat in the bar stool before me.

    “Don't look. Don't touch. Don't even notice her.” he stood and walked right toward her. What happened next? I have no clue. I was focused intently on the glass in front of me.

    Robin cracked a smile as he slid into the chair in front of me. I looked up at him. Hey, this glass wasn't getting any cleaner anyway. “Is she a relative? Of Ishiah's, I mean?”

    “He didn't add “don't think about her” to that list?” Robin asked.

    “Did he for you?”

    Robin snorted. “Ishiah trusts me.” he paused. “Besides the fact you don't get with her if you want Ishiah. Believe me.”

    “Sister?”

    Robin did his best imitation of Niko's eyebrow raise. It lacked the fierceness.

    “Hey, anything I can do to keep that,” I nodded towards the axe for emphasis “away from my head is what I do.”

    “Not a sister.”

    “Ex?” I asked. He grinned. “Hey, I'm just curious!”

    “No, you're spellbound. Some people...most people...never know it. It doesn't work on Pucks, but it works on humans.”

    “What doesn't?”

    “The spell. You've fallen into a spell.”

    I didn't bother to ask any more questions after that. “I'm not under a spell. Spells don't even...exist.” Right?

    Robin caught the question anyway. “It's more like hypnosis with pheromones. It carries through the air like a scent. But I will give you a hint.” He paused and leaned forward. “Most people think she has to sing.”

    “What?” The word was out of my mouth before I realized the answer. “Oh, she's a Siren.” Robin nodded once.

    “Beautiful, isn't she?” Robin asked.

    “I don't know.” I lied sarcastically “I'm not supposed to look. It's like a pheromone?”

    “That's what they say. Pucks can't pick it up because we have the same sort of charming abilities. It's hard to seduce what's meant to seduce. Especially if it already has a large appitite for sex.”

    “You know, you were much more tame in Peter Pan.”

    Robin rolled his eyes. “Yes, and you would have been more tame without your human side to interfear.” He was right. I was staring at her. “Of course I'm not sure if that super smelling is helping you either.” True.

    Beautiful. Intelligent. Graceful. Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. Face full of brandy.

    “What the fuck, Goodfellow?!” I wiped the alcohol out of my eyes with whatever I could find.

    “Stings, doesn't it?” was his only comment. “He said not to look at her.”

    “I wasn't!”

    “You were staring, actually, and I bet I can guess what you were thinking as well. She had you, Caliban. Be careful.” Behind the tease I could hear the urgency in his voice.

    Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. So intelligent. So beautiful.

    “Caliban. Caliban.” There was a sigh and this time I ducked just as the bottle was being lifted for another spray.

    “You're wasting all of Ishiah's good stuff, and that's all you drink. I'm not going shopping for more when you douse me in it.”

    “If you want me to stop I will, but you'll end up facefirst in her breasts. I'm not sure what's more frightening- that she will tear to to bits, eat what she can and leave your parts draped over rocks on the pier, or what Ishiah will do to you.” Robin reminded me.

    “Yeah, 'Off with his head!'”

    “I believe the exact phrase was 'off with 'her' head.'” Robin smirked.

    “You're loosing your touch, Robin.” I said offhandedly. I was looking at her again and she was looking past Ishiah, right at me.

    Boom. It felt like seconds but it must have been minutes. I was half-way over the bar, Ishiah and Robin were holding me back and the Peris was staring at Robin with an incredulous look as the puck was saying “Ishiah's hands caressed me over-”

    “STOP! What the fuck!” I backed off the counter, drawing attention from the rest of the bar.

    “Amara!” Ishiah was saying “Stop it!”

    Robin was grinning like the cheshire cat. Yeah, that was his part. Cheshire cat. “No, Ishiah, I think I found a way to stop it.”

    “Sharing our sexual adventures with the world is not what I had in mind for stopping her from eating my employees.” Ishiah growled through his teeth.

    Boom. Again, seconds, minutes, it didn't matter. She was standing in front of me. Ishiah was trying to force her back. I was over the counter and Robin was behind me now. I don't think my mind comprehended anything he was saying. Preserving it's sanity, that's my theory. She wasn't smiling anymore.

    And suddenly, it was over. It was like she turned off her scent. Or her charm, whatever it was. Ishiah still stood between us. She was still beautiful. But thank whatever's up there, Robin had shut up. Sometimes Robin saving my life came on rough terms.

    “I think it's embarrassment.” Robin was telling a very clearly also embarrassed Ishiah.

    “Oh, I'm embarrassed all right.” Ishiah mumbled.

    “Not you, him. It stops it. Snaps him out of it.”

    I didn't hear the rest. She was talking. “If it was just the puck I could handle it. That Ishiah's got something up his ass, doesn't he?” Still beautiful. Still charming. She had a thick, smooth voice like rose petals soaked in water to make perfume.

    “The only thing he has up his ass daily is a stick.” I replied, still groggy from whatever she had been doing to me. I regretted it immediately as my brain caught up with my mouth and I realized Robin was still right behind me.

    “And my-”

    “No.” I demanded, without even turning around, but he continued. I sighed.

    “Actually, that's only if it isn't vibrating.” I think I allowed a slight twitch as he continued to do anything but shut the hole in his face and stop embarrassing me. Shit. I'd thought embarrassing me would take a hell of a miracle. It didn't. “Then it's not my-” Oh, God. “Then it's just a vi-” Make it stop.

    “Robin. Stop talking about me.” Ishiah might not be an angel, but he was still saving me from hell right now.

    She glowered at Robin.

    “Puck, you're ruining my fun.”

    “You mean you're meal.” Robin said cooly. “Besides, I thought you could handle just me.”

    Suddenly, as graceful and in-place as it was planned by fate, she turned without another word and walked out. I could tell she had lost whatever game she was playing, but there was no shame for her. Trying to hurt Ishiah? Trying to hurt me? Who knew. Ishiah knew. “Who...” I couldn't seem to force the rest out.

    “Who was that?” Ishiah finished. “Don't worry about her. She came in to talk to me, and thought she'd fish out a meal.”

    “What did she want?” Robin asked, but I barely heard him.

    “What do you think she wanted?” came the reply.

    I was slashed with water this time. “Wake up, Cal.” Ishiah told me.

    Robin, still holding the glass of water, nodded at the door where Niko had just walked in. “He'll want a few sparing lessons if he finds out.”

    It didn't matter. He would find out. He always found out. “Shit. Who was that?” I repeated.

    “Just an old...acquaintance.” Robin said vaguely.

    Ishiah was much more direct. “You know that list of things you'll never know? Add it to that.”

    Yes, Your Majesty.

    I blinked a few times, trying to speed up the process of recovering myself. “I have saved your life again and now you owe me more than you did before. Walk my cat and we'll call it even.” Hey, he was pretty good at this. Infuriating and embarrassing will apparently save you from the ultimate waft of pheromones.

    “I don't think so.” I replied lamely. Robin scowled at the response. Yeah, definitely not my best come-back.

    “So, Ishiah, where were we on that fantasy? The one about you and me riding something naked?”

    I was awake now. Awake and moving far, far away.

      Current date/time is Sun Sep 24, 2017 4:24 am